Is the blogging world a friendly place – or is it filled with gossip, jealousy and competition? This is a change of pace from my usual posts – but I’m writing about this topic as it has come up frequently in conversations I’ve had with fellow bloggers – as well as with people who are just starting out. Like any other job, blogging has its benefits and challenges. But the public nature of our work adds a layer of complexity, because everyone knows everybody else’s business!
|Coat: c/o Chicwish / Bag: c/o Nine West / Shoes: c/o Nine West / Jeans: AEO|
1) COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
I personally can’t handle comparison – it leaves me feeling inadequate and overwhelmed. I realized this my second year at university, when a transfer student moved in next door. She had achieved so much at a young age – she had been awarded a scholarship to attend my school and had even been featured in the news. Her achievements made me feel anxious – I felt like I should be doing more with my life. It took a stressed-out phone call to my mother to knock some sense back into my head! She asked me why I was comparing myself to someone else, when I was already trying my best and doing so well. Since then I’ve learned to put blinders on – and focus on my goals, rather than worrying about what everyone else is doing.
I definitely have my moments of inadequacy in blogging – where I look at my peers and think, maybe I should be writing more, taking on more campaigns, shooting more photos. But then I remind myself, I don’t have to copy anyone else’s pace – I’m doing fine as I am. I want to enjoy blogging and be proud of every piece of content that I produce – and as long as that’s happening, I’m on the right track!
“HER SUCCESS IS NOT YOUR FAILURE”
“YOU HAVE ENOUGH, YOU DO ENOUGH, YOU ARE ENOUGH”
2) DEALING WITH FOMO AND MISSED OPPORTUNITIES
When you live your life on social media, FOMO (fear of missing out) is one of the inevitable side effects. You scroll through your feeds and see other bloggers doing campaigns that you wish you were a part of. In these moments, I think it’s important to surround yourself with positive vibes. Here’s how I deal with these feelings:
- Remove negative feelings with blessings – okay, this may sound a bit out-there, but if you see something that is making you feel envious or jealous, neutralize those negative feelings by forcing yourself to find something to praise in the situation. Here’s an example: “Good for her for working with brand X, she puts a lot of work in to her photography, and it’s really paid off.” Transforming negative feelings into positive ones is good for your mental health AND I believe it attracts good vibes back to you.
- Turn it into a learning experience – while you don’t want to fall into the comparison trap, it’s important to keep up-to-date with the blogging world. Try to find out if there is anything you need to work on, so that you can qualify for more opportunities too! There is always so much to do – from improving your blog traffic, to taking better photographs and growing your different social media channels.
- Believe there is something bigger and better out there for you – I’ve had companies agree to work with me, and then suddenly pull out at the last minute and say that their budget was used up. I try not to let it get to me – and often I find myself contacted for different opportunities with even more benefits!
- Remind yourself of your achievements – In the moment of comparison, it’s easy to feel sorry for yourself. Acknowledge those feelings – and then move on by listing all the exciting opportunities and collaborations that you’ve worked on already.
“IF A TRAIN DOESN’T STOP AT YOUR STATION, THEN IT’S NOT YOUR TRAIN”
– Marianne Williamson
“BE SO GOOD THEY CAN’T IGNORE YOU”
– Steve Martin
3) COPING WITH JEALOUSY AND GOSSIP
I believe that if you focus on the good in everything – you invite more of that into your life. So when it comes to dealing with jealousy and gossip – I try to surround myself with positive and inspiring people and tune out the rest.
That’s not to say I haven’t witnessed the ugly side of the blogging world – but when you have a network of blogging friends to vent to, they can help you put everything into perspective – and share their own experiences with you.
“YOUR VIBE ATTRACTS YOUR TRIBE”
“DON’T WORRY ABOUT THOSE THAT TALK BEHIND YOUR BACK – THEY’RE BEHIND YOU FOR A REASON”
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic – how do you handle competition in your workplace?
Photo Credit:Laura Clarke Photography
Great post Zeba! I’ve definitely had my fair share of negative feelings and jealousy toward other bloggers, especially since I have been blogging for so long. It feels like so many of my peers have passed me right by! But then again, I am still improving and I still enjoy so many aspects of this community that it keeps me going. We have to remember why we started, and be humble in the process. The one thing that irks me the most is when a blogger I’ve “known” for years all of a sudden seems too cool to interact with her readers because their following has grown. I’m glad that you are still as sweet as can be 🙂 I’m happy for your success! I hope we both can achieve what we want this year
Love your comment Noelle – it’s true – keeping focus on why we started blogging in the first place is a great way to put everything in perspective! And the community is one of the best benefits of blogging <3 Here’s hoping we both have an amazing 2018 <3